Give Me A Break...

Why is it that from time to time when I post something on my blog, someone comes along two years later and makes a bigger deal out of a specific post than what it was? Its as if there are people out there who desire only to burn bridges and do whatever they can to protect their pride… Lame.

November of 2008, I posted about my trip to Washington. I commented on all the things that I enjoyed. I had desperately wanted to see my sister but she could not find the time for me. So I spent the better part of my time up there without her and was only allowed to see her on my last day. I am sorry to say, she looked sickly. She was uber pale and her eyes were sunken in. She was not very talkative and the guy that was with her was not much better. She did bring her son for me to meet which was great. But that whole trip is haunted by that sickly image of my sister. Maybe she drank to much and was suffering from a hangover, maybe she was high, or maybe she was just sick. Whatever the reason, she did not look healthy by any sense of the word.

I wrote about that in my post. I stated that I believed that she was under the influence, specifically drugs. It was about a month later when I actually spoke to her about the subject. She swore up and down that she was not doing drugs. I didn’t really believe her at first and today I believe that she may have just drank to much. In a sense, I believed her.

But almost two years… She reads the post… and then gets upset about something that should be dead and buried. She points her finger at me and tells me I choose not to be a part of her life. She tells me that I am in the wrong. She judges me.

Fine… judge me, if she thinks it will make her feel better. Whatever gets her through the day. But I hope she knows that I have a stable life. Even if I hate my job, it’s still a stable job. I have my own place, my own car, and my own pride. Just like her, I have earned everything that I have. I earned everything that I am. My party days are over because of the responsibilities that I have. I accepted this. And when the day comes, my children will know that they will always come first and I will not make excuses for failing or try to put my blame on others.

The distant raven will always be my sister and I will always love her. But I will not sacrifice anything for her until she see she deserves better and grows up a little more.